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Oh Frabjous Day, Calloo, Callay

Chortling in Joy





November 3rd, 2015

I meant to post this up on Halloween. I meant to do several things. I was distracted by a costume party and knitting, in that order. Whoops. And of course, all of the regular things that need doing, such as work and sleep and food. However now I have set of spooky (but not too spooky) book reviews to get to, so let’s get to gettin’. Better late than jolly, I guess.

First up, Haunted Fairs. Who doesn’t love a good "This carousel/amusement park is maybe haunted, that’s probably not good," kind of story? If we’re talking about me, it turns out I only love that kind of story if it doesn’t give me outright nightmares. So I like these stories. (PS Something Wicked This Way Comes, as I recall from childhood, is Too Scary. Too many spiders, for one. But I only saw the movie.)

The first book I shall review today, is actually a series. And it’s less spooky than magic a little altered, and less haunted than well, weirdly possessed. It’s the Archer’s Beach series by Sharon Lee. The first book, Carousel Tides, hooked me quickly and I devoured all the stories I could get my hands on as soon as I knew they existed. Kate Archer has come home to the coastal Maine town of Archer’s Beach, because her grandmother is missing, and they’re about to lose the family carousel. If they lose control of the carousel, then they lose control of the imprisoned souls who are bound into some of the wooden animals. And that would be, in a word, bad. Kate and her family don’t particularly want to imprison those souls, but they haven’t had a choice. And now things are going from bad to worse very quickly.

This series has a very unique magic setup, across dimensions and worlds and times, and a protagonist who ran from magic under a self-imposed exile sentence but has returned and must figure out a way to save herself, her grandmother, the town, and maybe the universe. Not necessarily in that order, but she needs to save herself pretty quick or it’s all going down. The characters in the book spoke to me in a way that guaranteed I would keep reading without pause, and if I find out there are more than the books and short stories I know about, I’m going to get them and devour those, too. Have at. I highly recommend. The second two books are Carousel Sun and Carousel Seas. Magic, mayhem, and a sort-of haunted carousel. Get them get them now. (NOTE it’s not your usual haunting type. So don’t go in expecting ghosties.)

The second book up for review is Wild Ride, by Jennifer Crusie and Bob Mayer. Yep, this amusement park is haunted. By demons. Ancient demons who are maybe a little mad at the being bound part, and keep trying to get free. Mary Alice Brannigan is restoring the Dreamland Amusement Park to its former glory, with a lot of paint and polish and hard work. But she hasn’t been told the big secret – the park is a demon prison, and the prisoners want out. She’s skeptical but the magic seeping through is too obvious to keep ignoring, and the guardians are going to need her help.

Ethan John Wayne, the park owner’s son, is a soldier who’s come home to die. But maybe not yet – the guardians are going to need him, too.

Honestly, this book isn’t Crusie and Mayer’s best, but it is a lot of fun, and there’s a haunted amusement park, and Mab (Mary Alice) is suspicious and snarky and smart, which I always like in a protag. I think the writing styles of the two writers don't gel as well here as they should, and the way the stories blend is a bit like reading two different books at once at times. But I really love Crusie's turns of phrase, and her ways of turning an antagonist slightly sideways is still definitely here. The main love story(ies) isn’t/aren’t what you suspect, which I like, and the HEA isn’t quite what you think it’s going to be either, and the magic/demons/haunting is pretty different from the usual fare. (Fare/fair, I’m so clever.) ANYHOODLE I like but don’t love this book, but I have read it at least 5 times, so take that as you find it. Of course, I’ve read almost every Crusie book I can get my hands on more than two or three times, so that’s part of it. (The best Crusie/Mayer combo book is Agnes and the Hitman, which is great.) (Crusie’s very best novel, I think, is a toss-up between Bet Me and Faking It, but I love almost all of them.)

MOVING ON, my very favorite spooky fall read does not have a haunted amusement park, although I’m sure the protag would have found that easier to deal with. The last book on my review list for this month is Maybe This Time, also by Jennifer Crusie. It’s a take/homage to The Turn of the Screw, which is an old-timey spooky read/watch. This book is probably the spookiest of my reviewees, but remember it’s me, so while there is a body count, it’s not viscerally bloody and there is an HEA.

This book is a little hard to describe without spoilers, but I shall try. Andie is trying to finally break off final contact with her ex-husband, North. They haven't seen each other in years, but she wants to pay him back his support checks, and finally get him out of her heart. But he asks her for one small favor. Of course, the favor isn’t small at all – would she please be a live-in nanny for a month for his two wards, children of his cousin, who are living in, apparently unable or unwilling to move from, a mansion in the country. The other nannies have fled, saying the place is haunted. The children are orphans, traumatized, and need someone to help and care for them. North will pay Andie a large sum of money to go and assess the situation. And… the Turn of the Screw adaptation goes from there.

This adaptation has spooky ghosts, creepiness, and a lot of snark and heart. The romance is pretty stellar, and the ghosts are creepy, and the children are in terrible danger. I really liked all of it – I like the fallibility of Andie, and her character growth. I like the children, with all of their grit and fire and stubborn ability to cope, if brokenly. I like North, even if he is kind of willfully blind at times, but still willing to try. And I love all of the side characters, who make a screwball comedy out of a ghost story without diminishing too much of the creepy. (And if you’re really thinking about it, especially the ending, it’s pretty dang creepy.)

So there we have it – 3 spooky Fall reads, too late for October, but still Autumn, and this way, if you’re dreading the holly and jolly taking over everything, you can fight it off with another dose of fun but still atmospheric creepy. Happy reading!

The title is from the song "I Am Stretched On Your Grave," which is a translation of a 17th century Irish poem, and recorded by a lot of people. I have Sinead O'Connor and Kate Rusby versions, both excellent.

October 14th, 2015

Why hello there, bloggity! I have a little review for you! Today, I’m reviewing Nnedi Okorafor’s novella, Binti, which I read and enjoyed. There will necessarily be spoilers, because I don’t think I can talk about this without them.

Binti is SF, set in a future where Earth is one of many planets that have interstellar travel. Our protagonist, Binti, is from a Namibian group of people called Himba, who live in a desert area and are known to use a mixture of clay and flower oils on their skin and hair called otjize. (Water is scarce, the climate is hot, and it’s a way to take care of their skin. This part is not fiction, the Himba people do this.) Binti’s family are talented mathematicians who do something called harmonizing. They make harmony through math, is the best I can tell. I’m not sure I entirely understand how it works, but I was willing to go with it. Binti’s family, and the people as a whole, do not leave home, or their land. But Binti has been accepted into an interstellar university, and she decides to leave home against everyone’s wish.

She feels lonely and alone and mocked at first, but she starts to make friends, human and otherwise, on the (living, which is neat) space ship that is taking her to the university.


The ship is attacked by a group of sentient creatures called Meduse. Binti is able to survive using an artifact she found near her home, that she doesn’t understand, but everyone else around her is slaughtered. She makes her way to her room and locks herself in, terrified and grieving. After a few days, she uses math and the artifact to communicate with the Meduse. She learns they think humans are barely sentient, and that they have come to use the ship to get into the university to attack it and regain something that was taken from them. One of the Meduse who is injured touches Binti’s skin with the otjize on it, and is healed. They want the otjize, but she’s only made so much for her journey, and a Himba without otjize is naked and not Himba anymore, so she doesn’t want to lose it. Binti calls on her Himba and harmonizer heritage to try to negotiate with the Meduse to save both them and herself, and the people of the university. She is irrevocably changed in the process.

This story is fascinating and compelling in many ways, although I found a lot that would kick me out of it. I didn’t understand about the math so much, and I’m not certain how much of that is that it’s math, and how much is that it is only explained so far. (Although, if it were explained, would it be relevant to the story? So there’s that.) I just kept shunting it to the "math = magic" part of my brain, and let most of it go. I found some of the writing style to be not as engaging for me personally as I usually like, but that's a style preference, not a writing issue, and I liked the concepts, and the characters. Binti as a character is very compelling, but I found I didn’t understand about a lot of the world building around her. I’m used to some of that in any fantasy/science fiction story, because worlds are often half-explained and the reader has to extrapolate. But the living space ship and the math as harmony and the number of alien technologies were coming fast and furious and I didn’t quite feel like I had a good grasp on all of it. It felt like it needed more story to get all of those disparate parts in. But I still really enjoyed the story, so I think it’s partly my own preferences for a novel-length work that makes me feel that way. I just wanted more information, and felt like there wasn’t time to get it.

So, basic tl:dr for those who wanted to skip all of the spoilers – Binti is a very intense storyline in a compact package, with a lot of high concept world building that is mostly off screen, so you have to be willing to go with the flow. The character of Binti is wonderful, and I wish I’d had a bit longer with her. I want to know more about the universe that Okorafor built, and more about how Binti is going to fit into it. But it’s not an easy read, although it is a quick one.

Post title is from Dar William's "Mark Rothko's Song"

October 1st, 2015

So, uh. Hi. My September plans for posting did not work, it seems. Do you remember way back in September when you were a young and callow fellow, or at least, I was going to do all of these mini reviews? Well, I was. And I AM! I just sort of fell down a well a bit.

The well was kind of awesome, actually, because I got to run away to LA for a few days and play around with some friends. I went to the backer reward for 'The Reading Rainbow' project that LeVar Burton put on, so it was "Men and Women of Star Trek" reading us stories. Seriously. LeVar Burton, Jeri Ryan, Brent Spiner, Kate Mulgrew, Michael Dorn, Jonathan Frakes, and several others read us stories, and we sat there and loved it! There was a photo op afterward, at which I was a complete dork and did *not* tell Jeri Ryan that I love her in all the things, but hey, I went, and I had a good time. There was also frolicking on beaches and the Santa Monica pier, and although I got a whopping cold as the wages of my vacationing, it was worth it.

And then, the next week, I got to see DURAN DURAN IN CONCERT! I was still sick (I'm still a little sick) and it probably made it worse, but I went to the Puyallup fair and saw my fave band in concert and they were F&$#ing FANTASTIC! I probably gave myself a whole extra week of crud, staying up late outside and screaming my head off. WORTH. IT.  100% Would Do Again. Seriously they are The Best band live. I mean, they're awesome in studio, but they are a blast live and you should go see them if you can.

So ... that was pretty much September. Work, vacation, sick, go to a concert, more sick, more work, and then it's October.

The news of my own writing is this, at the moment: I am *not* going to be published with another small press at this time. I am working on the reversion of all rights to A Ragged Magic, and I will self-publish it once I have that to get it back out there for sale. If it comes to it, I will self-publish the rest of the series. We're still working out that bit. But I should have ARM back up for sale soon. I'll announce it when I can.

Beyond this series, I have a different series that I have half of the first book written on, that I would like to finish up and start shopping around. And I just today had a story hit me in the head and demand some work, so I may have to make some notes and get some ideas sorted so that it can shut up enough for me to get back to current projects.

The reviews I have planned for postingness Real Soon Now (tm) are as follows: Shadowshaper, by Daniel José Older. When a Scot Ties the Knot, by Tessa Dare. Uprooted, by Naomi Novik. The Book of Phoenix, by Nnedi Okorafor. And because October, Wild Ride by Jennifer Crusie and Bob Mayer, and the Carousel Tides books by Sharon Lee. I think we need some haunted (ish) amusement parks for October, don't you? Yes, that's what I thought you'd say. If I get to it, sometime this fall I also want to review/tout Shadow & Bone by Leigh Bardugo, and the other Grisha books. Because yes. Yes. And I really, really want to read Lagoon by Nnedi Okorafor and Brown Girl in the Ring by Nalo Hopkinson. Which, of course I will, but will I get around to reviewing them? I will try.

But tonight, I need to get some more of my fiction writing done. I have these projects and these plans. Let's do this, October.

Title is from "Secret October," by Duran Duran. Did I mention I got to see Duran Duran in concert? Because I did. And it was awesome.

August 31st, 2015

It seems weird that the end of August is here. How does time? What is present? So, OK, I didn't get nearly as much done this month as I had planned. In anything. But I do have another review to put up, so I will do that right now.

Very minor spoilers, but I don't think I give very much away. I read it knowing nothing about it but the cover copy and the piece the authors wrote on Scalzi's "Big Idea" post, though, and I liked it a lot.

Continuing in my random and not entirely well-thought-out series of sort-of reviews of books I’ve read recently and liked, I thought I’d talk about another space opera. "Linesman," by S.K. Dunstall.

I didn’t realize until I started writing this sort-of review that S.K. Dunstall is (are?) two people – Sherylyn and Karen Dunstall. So there’s that for a little trivia about the book. This is a book, at its heart, about what happens when we forget the wisdom and ways of the past, in pursuit of the future and modernity. It’s also about being open to things working in a different way than you thought. Have an open mind. Try new things. Try old things. Be open. Don’t be a jerk. (I feel like the last bit is a great message that shows up in a lot of books, but it bears repeating, doesn’t it?)

Ean is our protagonist, and he’s one of the few people who can fix all of the "lines" on a spaceship. The lines are a way of running a ship that are cloned from an alien technology that humans do not truly understand, but figured out from a derelict alien craft that they (the lines) can be used to travel light years in moments. (Line 1 = crew, 2&3 are mechanics, 4 is gravity, etc up to 9&10 which moves the ship through space/time.) It’s been 500 years since humans first started using the technology, and some of what people originally learned from using it has been lost. The basics of how to use them are there, but not everyone knows how they work, or how to fix them if they break.

There are 10 lines, but only someone who can feel all 10 of them can fix all of them if they go out of true. If the lines go out of true, a ship can’t travel safely. The linesmen (line workers? I forget if they used that) are a pretty prestigious group. Ean is a little different from most linesmen. He comes from a poor background, and got a late start into the program that trains line workers. He’s largely self-taught, and sings to the lines. No one who learned in school sings to them. They can either feel them or they can’t but they don’t listen to them. They don’t meld with them the way Ean does. Most other line workers think he’s at least a little insane. They don’t respect him. (He does tend to get lost in communication with the lines, and that does make him someone who appears very odd to others.) When a strange phenomenon that shows up in deep space called the "confluence" pulls almost all of the high-level line workers to investigate it, he is not invited to attend. Which means he’s one of the only "tens" available to be drafted to fix a spaceship that belongs to one of the leaders of a large alliance of planets that is on the brink of interplanetary war.

I don’t know if I can describe this book adequately without rereading it all and going chapter by chapter. It’s intricate and has a lot of political shenanigans as well as interpersonal ones, and things get pretty sticky for our underdog hero. But I can tell you that I truly enjoyed it. It’s extremely well written, with a lot of fantastic characters and some very broad philosophy. I found myself very invested in Ean’s fate, and I was impressed with the level of background and world/universe-building the authors were able to squeeze in without it feeling burdensome. The action is nearly non-stop, but it still feels very thoughtful and deep. And I find the whole idea of the lines and the semi-(if not outright) sentience of the ships really fascinating. I was rooting for the ships almost as much as the heroes. And the ships who had bad crews, or lost crew, I really felt emotionally invested in making them happy. So my childhood of generally anthropomorphizing anything and everything (including toast) came in super handy here, but I think it makes for compelling reading. If you like your space opera with intrigue and shades of gray with an ill-used and misunderstood main character, and a feeling of alien sentience surrounding everything, then you will love this story. The 2nd book comes out in February, and I am very much looking forward to it.

OK, that was a pretty short review, but the shorter version is: Really like it, will probably read again, and I'm excited for the series.

Next up: Fall. I'm going to get a few more of these reviews done, maybe do a Worldcon report, talk about the state of my own books, and more. Hey September, lookin good autumn baby, hey.

August 11th, 2015

Blog, blog, what is blog? I have been neglectful, poor thing. It’s been a difficult month and more, but not very interesting to write about, so I’ve fallen behind. I don't really have any new or fun information regarding my own writing to impart to you, other than that things are still, er, fluid, and evolving, and I will tell you what I can when I can. In the meantime, should anyone like to buy my book, please do contact me at Lindsey@lindseysjohnson.com, and we can work something out.

To make up for not blogging lately, I’ve decided I should write sort-of reviews of books I’ve been reading and enjoying. It seems only fair, to anyone who bothers to check in on this space, to have something going on in it. Hi blog, how ya doin?

Today I’m going to start with “Ancillary Justice” and “Ancillary Sword”, by Ann Leckie. I’m doing them both at once, because since I’ve read them both I think it starts to get tangled up in my head what happened when, and what’s revealed at what time. So, uh, spoilers, is what I’m saying. If you haven’t read them and you’re interested in just my vague, non-spoilery general opinion, here it is: I like these books a lot, and I can highly recommend the series as a sweeping space opera that explores some issues of colonialism and oppression, and also, sort of just by the way, gender. I think it’s the gender part that makes some people angry these books exist, but while the gender part is kind of constant and makes you think, it’s almost by-the-way. Or so it feels to me.


I will try to keep the spoilers more general than specific, but some things I feel I can’t help but spoil, if I want to mention the books at all. So here goes.

I heard about “Ancillary Sword” from all the buzz of all the awards it was winning. It took me awhile to pick it up, because my TBR pile is ginormous and I just wasn’t in the mood for space opera for awhile. I still managed to keep spoiler-free, so I knew only that it generated a lot of talk, and that some people were mad because, and I think I’m quoting here, “Ew, girls.” So I thought, well, I’ll have to check that out at some point, won’t I? But I have to admit that when I started reading it, although I found it interesting and well written, it wasn’t grabbing me right away. It wasn’t until the third or fourth chapter that I started to get hooked. And then more hooked. And soon after that, I couldn’t put it down.

This is a small spoiler, but it's set out pretty early in "Justice." The protagonist, Breq, used to be a spaceship. And the way she used to be a spaceship, is that this space colonial society called the Radch takes people from planets they enslave (that they don't just flat out murder) and erases their personality and memories and hooks their consciousness’ together into a whole and hooks them up to the AI of a spaceship. So they aren’t single people. They are units, or ancillaries, of a spaceship. Breq is the only remaining unit of an entire ship when the ship was destroyed. The why we find out later, through flashbacks. But she can’t remember her life before she became ship, which was thousands of years ago. She’s only had 19 years of being a single person, although she does not think of herself as human. And she doesn’t really know how to behave as one, even as she has to pretend.

Bigger spoiler: The driving reasons for what Breq does is because of a sprawling conspiracy by the ultimate ruler of the Radch against what turns out to be another cloned copy (multiple copies?) of herself (the ruler), on how Radchaai society should continue. To continue to colonize, or not. To continue the horrific practice of making ancillaries, to continue to spread and conquer and fight, or to change as a society. The ruler of the Radch is also, through use of cloning and ancillaries, thousands of years old. And as a consequence, not entirely sane.

This is all revealed slowly through the first half of the book. I think it didn’t really start to feel unputdownable until I started to understand the full horror of the situation - both the worlds-wide situation as well as Breq's personal one. I'm not sure if the flashback-forward approach worked in the beginning, because I definitely felt put at a distance from our protagonist. But once I understood some of the full disaster that brought about Breq's current plan (or vague lack thereof), I was hooked, and I connected fully with the character. Breq is not a usual protagonist, she’s not a usual hero, and she was kind of hard to connect to when I was reading her as this mystery cipher who seemed detached. But as I started to get why she acted and seemed detached, all the while underneath all that detachment is a seething mass of unexpressed pain and rage, I started to identify with her, to love her, and to love her evolving if unclear plans to try to make a wrong right. And her sometimes frustrated attempts to right wrongs she just stumbled across, as well.

I know some people who are not of the “Ew, girls” type who didn’t care for this book, just because it didn’t interest them. To each their own taste, after all. But now I absolutely love Breq. I love how she’s broken, I love how she knows she’s broken, she was made broken, the process that made her broke her and the disaster that caused her to be alone broke her more, and she’s decided the only thing to do is to try to right wrongs. I love her unexplored moral center, that just exists and she doesn’t question it too much. I love how she knows her society is horrible but she also sees the good in people who exist within it, and the rotten core, and tries to do what she can to help the rebellion/conspiracy on the side she thinks is in the right. I love how she acknowledges her brokenness is a mirror of the brokenness of the empire, even though she doesn’t really talk to anyone about it.

Man, I love these books. Because I always love protagonists who keep going even when it all seems futile, and whose moral centers, even when they are lost and confused, land on “help people and make wrongs right”. Also I love a seething mass of undeclared and unacknowledged rage. I just do. I love how it builds tension, and I love when it breaks free.

The gender part that has some people very upset, is the use of “she” as the default pronoun. Which is the one area of Radch society I can completely get behind. Gender makes no difference to them, and the default pronoun is “she.” So everyone is referred to with the “she” pronoun, no matter their gender. Which can get Breq into trouble with societies that aren’t Radchaai, where gender does matter. And it can make for confusing moments for readers – one of the first characters we meet, we’re told offhand is a male, but Breq uses the “she/her” pronoun to refer to … him. See, it’s hard to discuss. Because I feel like I should use the she/her pronoun, too. But English does make distinctions, and this character is male. And of course, that means that you don’t know whether or not a character we meet, whose gender is not specified to us, is male or female. And since the default pronoun is “she” then I just decided to go ahead and make the assumption that pretty much all the characters were female unless told otherwise. And I have to tell you, that is a pretty revolutionary way to read. So many space operas I’ve read – even those written by women – have the default character assumption as male for anyone who isn't specifically spelled out as a woman. So all those space opera extras, just walking around doing odd jobs and not really discussed in specific terms, read as male. How many space opera societies are almost entirely peopled by men this way? Most of them. Hell, most books in general that I've read are written that way. To have it be the opposite blew my mind regularly. It did push me out of the narrative from time to time, but in a good way. In a “Holy cats this is weird and awesome” way.

Of course, that is why those whose response to feminism is “Ew, girls” are so angry. How dare we consider the default pronoun to be female, instead of male? How dare anyone change these understood (but arbitrary) rules we have imposed on our world? How dare we explore what it means to define gender as beside the point? Because that’s what the narrative does – gender is meaningless, only the mind matters. I think if this book had been written with a protagonist whose body was male, or if the default pronoun was “they” or “It”, or if the book had been written by a man, I think those who so railed against it would not have been very upset. Which I think proves a point, really. The point it proves is the default male that we live and read by is sexist, and it does change how we think about the world, and that representation really, truly matters. If it didn’t, then this series existing, and winning awards, would not have set people off.

Another thing that is just kind of by the way, is that most of the Radch have dark skin, and dark skin is "fashionable" for the upper classes. So your default well-off character is female, dark skinned, with no obvious (to the reader) gender expression. It's pretty revolutionary, and I had to recalibrate to read it the way it was written.

Something else this series explores is oppression by colonial powers, and the ramifications for the societies that have to live under it, as well as the colonial society itself. The reach of Radch controlled space is pretty vast, and the way they take over worlds is called “annexation,” and there is no resistance allowed, of course, which seems entirely reasonable to the Radchaai. To anyone outside of their society, the constant expansion and death, the idea that these ancillaries exist is horrific – they’ve taken people and basically killed them without killing their bodies, making undead slaves to the Radch who will do what is ordered.

Probably. (uh, spoiler)

But what is pointed out early on in the first book, is that the fully human, non-ancillary humans who are Radch are somehow even more horrifying - in that they look at the annexation of worlds as their right. They don’t see anything wrong with creating ancillaries. Or rather, they didn’t used to - now making them is supposed to be illegal and they don't do it anymore. But since all of these ancillaries are just leftover, we may as well use them as long as they exist, right? The ancillaries work with their AIs and obey orders and are horrifying, undead tools who (probably) can't think for themselves. But the humans are still human, in that they act in horrible, inhumane ways to one another due to desire for power, or a thrill, or money, or some combination of all three. The Radch do not consider anyone who is not a citizen to have rights. And they control who is a citizen and who isn’t. And of course, being these people who think their rules and wars and ways of life are entirely reasonable, they see nothing wrong with any of this.

And it is truly, awfully, horrifying. And it is us. Or a certain funhouse mirror of us, but here we are. We are so reasonable. And so horrifying. Those awful things we used to do don’t count, do they? We’re super sorry we did them, but that was a long time ago. And now it’s all better, see? What? It’s not better? How dare you! We are the reasonable people.

It’s so easy to be reasonable when you get to define what reasonable means.

And THAT’S why I love these books, and I think why they’re up for, and keep winning, awards. I've heard some people don’t think the second book is as strong as the first, but I disagree. I think it’s dealing with consequences set up in the first book, and the consequences of Breq getting some of her questions answered, and some of her quest finished, and what does she do now? And of course, the ever-present, justified if not dealt-with, seething mass of unimaginable grief and rage. There’s that, too. And I think “Sword” makes its case that while others have to start to face the horror that is their society, Breq has to face the rage and grief she suppresses and ignores and doesn’t know how to process. She doesn’t know how to process it because she doesn’t know how to be just one person, and she keeps having to learn that lesson. I think going on this journey is fascinating and heartbreaking, and I can’t wait to see how the next book goes.

All opinions are purely my own, and may or may not be what the author was going for anyway. But I get to have my opinion as a reader, and these are mine.

Title is from "Simple Joys" from the musical "Pippin," which I GET TO SEE ON SUNDAY BECAUSE MY PARENTS LOVE ME SO THERE. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.

June 24th, 2015

Originally posted on my website, lindseysjohnson.com

Hello all my lovelies! I am remiss on the blog once again. It’s a common theme, but I’m trying for 3 posts per month. This month it’s two. Well, I still have a week for a third post, right? It could happen. And I have many things I’d like to say, but these are the quick updates.

I have some news regarding A Ragged Magic, and what’s going on, publishing-wise. Since I’m changing publishers, or rather, my original publisher (Per Aspera) became part of another publisher (Ragnarok) and Ragnarok is going to reissue ARM, that means that the book will be unavailable for purchase from retailers starting July 1st. If you want to buy the book and you haven’t yet, you’ll have to contact me here (Lindsey@lindseysjohnson.com) to set that up, or wait for the reissue, which will most likely be sometime in November. When I know the exact date I will be sure to let everyone know. SO … if you want a permanent and beautiful copy of THIS AWESOME ARTWORK:


Be sure to order ASAP and get yourself a copy now at your favorite retailer. Because once that is off the market, and I am out of books, that truly lovely cover by Angie Abler will be a collector’s item. I do love that cover, but I am fairly certain that new artwork will be ordered for the new issue, to go with new marketing, to go with the new publisher. Which is all in service to new, shiny books, that will be ready for your reading pleasure in just a few months. And THEN! Onto the sequel! Which I am furiously writing right now. (Note re: furiously – there’s some swearing going on, coming from me, as I shove some plot around that I came up with that is TOTALLY AWESOME but changes stuff I already wrote, but I swear I am working Very Hard.)

In other life news, the eXit SPACE 10th anniversary dance performance went wonderfully well. We had a blast, we kicked ass, we performed the hell out of all of our pieces, and we had a blast. Did I mention we had a blast? We were very, very sparkly, and very, very silly, and I love all my dancer peeps and I’m still going through withdrawals, even though I’ve been to classes since. Some days when I get to the studio I just want to awkwardly hug everyone a lot. I don’t, because I try really hard not to be too creepy with everyone. It’s a trial.

But here are some photos to prove how much fun we were having.


80s makeup for A Chorus Line. Because Duran Duran eyes. That's why. Bonus sweat from just getting off stage. I aim to make these experiences realistic. PS sweatbands are only sort of helpful. Must be why they went out of style.

jazz it

JAZZ IT! Most of the Jazz cast. We're so proud.

modern selfie

Modern backstage selfie. Aww, dancer love.

Now I’m back to my regularly over-scheduled summer. I keep thinking I don’t have that much going on, and then suddenly I realize that I have something scheduled for every weekend for the next forever and how did that happen, anyway? I’m naturally a homebody and an introvert. I really like people (most people) but I also really need time to sit and process and not do. And by not do, I mean NOT DO. NOTHING DOING. SITTING ON MY BUTT THINKING SOME BUT SORT OF JUST STARING AT ZIPPO WHILE I LET MY MIND WANDER. That’s how I manage my buzzing brain, anyway. Lately I’ve spent too much time on twitter and stuff instead, but I really benefit from staring into space. I come up with plot and character that way, I come up with words that way, I let go of things that are bothering me that way, I keep my keel relatively even that way. So pardon me if sometimes, if I’m over-scheduled, I don’t talk to people too much. My keel is getting uneven and I have to shift sails and look for calmer waters in the ship of my head. Or something. (Sailors, stop laughing.) (Or keep laughing, I live to entertain.)

This is my life. It’s weird, but it’s good. Working on evening out my keel, keeping on dancing, keeping on writing, keeping on keeping on. Happy Summer!

Title is from "Like Real People Do" by Hozier, which I am completely obsessed by at the moment.

June 1st, 2015

(Posted originally on my blog, check it out there too.)

Well hello, June is busting out all over. In that it is now June, and May went away, and I’m behind and exhausted and sore but GETTING SO STRONG, so that’s gotta be worth something, right?

I spent the whole of May either working out, taking dance class, rehearsing for the upcoming show, working, writing, or recovering from those things. And more the physical stuff than anything else, and oh, how sore I am. But my guns are looking really gunny these days, which has been awhile since I’ve seen those, so I’m stoked about that. Also my legs are stronger, my stamina is better, and I’m feeling pretty good about most of the choreography. All from lifting other dancers, lifting myself, doing pushups, doing situps, doing leg lifts, plies, the elliptical, walking, and just boogie, boogie, boogie all the live-long day.

I’m very tired.

All of this is to explain why I haven’t blogged – I haven’t had the bandwidth for the blogging. Brain brain what is brain? It’s that thing that I use for work, some writing on the sequel, choreography and NOTHING ELSE because it just gives up and shuts down when I try. It makes it really hard when people bring me stuff at work that I’m not ready for, because I can feel my thought process ka-chunk ka-chunk into a new gear and I have to blink and stutter for a few minutes until I can focus on the new thing. And I’m only in 5 dance pieces – I don’t know how certain others who are in 9 or so pieces are even handling their lives. Possibly they take naps. Or they’re just way more badass than I am.

But the show! The show is coming up in under two weeks and we’re pushing to be so kick ass, y’all! If you didn’t get your tickets, you’re about to be super sad, because Saturday’s show is sold out, and Friday’s is almost so. But if you did get yours, hey presto, we are going to entertain the heck out of you. Be ready. June 12th and 13th are the evening shows, and there are 4 matinees with the kids on the 13th and 14th. I’m in at least one dance in each matinee, so I’m going to show up with my fancy new costume suitcase and live at the theater, starting the night of the 9th, which is the first tech rehearsal. (10th, other tech rehearsal, 11th, dress rehearsal, and then shows starting the 12th. There is a reason I’ve been pushing myself on the stamina front.) If I can, I will post pictures. If you follow me on Facebook or Twitter, you’ll see some there. SO MUCH BOOGIE AND JAZZ HANDS. Yay! (If you still want to try to see it, go to brownpapertickets.com and look up takePAUSE 2015.)

In writing news, I am chugging away at the sequel to A Ragged Magic, and changing my mind about a few things I thought were set, but maybe they aren’t, and then chugging away again. Uh. In the middle, is what I am. The messy, messy middle where I start to panic and throw plotlines about and hope some kind of coherency shows up to help me out. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THESE PEOPLE, HOW DO I FIX THIS, I NEED THEM TO GET OVER HERE BUT THEY’RE JUST MILLING AROUND TALKING ABOUT CRAP AND IGNORING ME. That’s where I am. So I’m about to rocks fall, buncha people die on it, because why plot holes why ya gotta do me like this, is why. I do feel that I have some really cool awesome plot in there, but the issue is making it hang together, and not get too bogged down in either explanations or side plots. And to not lose sight of the important character growth. I like where the plot is ultimately going, but I’m not always sure I know what I’m doing to get it there. I feel certain I am not the only writer in the world to struggle with this.

Other writing news is going on but I feel like I can’t really talk about it until I have official stuff to tell you, so it’s all kind of not-a-secret-but-I-have-no-information-so-just-hold-please. Annoying, I know, but I don’t have any control over that. Other people have all the control over that and I shall try not to be too anxious about that but probably fail. Anxious-R-Us, but that is hardly news to anyone, now, is it?

So, to sum up – ALL THE DANCING is happening, and I’m super tired and sore. WRITING IS HARD and I’m working on it. WORK IS, well, it’s just work. I go there a lot. They pay me, so that’s good.

LIFE: The Cliffsnotes version. Hope all your summers are shaping up to be loverly.

Title is from "Dance Apocalytic" by Janelle Monáe

May 4th, 2015

(Originally posted at my website, feel free to comment either place)

Actually, I'll be dancing with a lot of other people. Yay! It’s that time of year again – takePAUSE time! Come see the show!

Those of you who know me at all, know I love to dance. I adore it. It’s a passion and a life-giving force. I take classes several times a week at my home away from home, eXit SPACE dance studio here in Seattle – a wonderful dance studio for dancers of any ability or age. I’ve been dancing with Marlo Martin (director) since before she opened eXit SPACE, and I can tell you she’s created one of the most welcoming, friendly, uplifting places I have ever danced. It’s a great community full of wonderful people, and I’m so happy to spend time with them. I’ve made friends and found a place that I can be my weird and wild self and embrace the weird wildness of others and revel in it. Dance is something I feel like I can love without judgment. Even when I’m feeling judgey about myself, or my ability, or my body, I know that dance isn’t judging me, and no one else in class is judging me, and I can work out my feelings on the floor and the floor will catch me every time. (Sometimes harder than others, but it’s always there.) If I need my fellow dancers to catch me, they will be there to lift me up and toss me back on my feet, and I am there for them, too. I am by no means a professional, but Marlo and the other instructors have helped me become a much better dancer than I would be without them. I’m an enthusiastic amateur, and they help me to improve and conquer fears and doubts and push myself without hurting myself. They’ve helped me explore what I can do, and learn how to look good doing it. In short, to embody joy, and to share that joy with other dancers.

And now you can share in it, too, if you want to come see us dance! The studio puts on a show every year, and I haven’t missed one yet. This is our 10th takePAUSE and I’m so excited to be a part of it again. If you are local, and you want to share in our joy and exultations, the dates are June 12th and 13th at 8pm, (Friday night and Saturday night) at 8 pm. We’d be so happy to have you! Tickets are on sale NOW – go to brownpapertickets.com to get some. But GET YOUR TICKETS RIGHT AWAY, because we WILL SELL OUT. We’ve already sold a startling number, and they’ve only been available for 4 days. If you don’t get them soon, you will miss out, and then you will be sad. You don't want to be sad, do you? Those of you who’ve said you were sad to miss it in the past – now’s your chance! Grab some ticky-tickets!

I’m in 5 pieces this year – which is a lot. It’s more than I’ve ever been in for one show. I know we’re technically counting the Broadway stuff as one piece for certain class rehearsal reasons, but come on, it’s not one piece; it’s three. Two of them are on the short side, but it’s still completely different chunks of choreography, different costumes, and it’s split up into different parts of the show. So there. The pieces are the audition dance from “A Chorus Line,” (slightly changed) (that choreo looks cheesy, but it’s pretty difficult, and cheese makes it more fun) (If you make it too pretty, you lose the cheese, is our motto), “All That Jazz,” from “Chicago”, and “Too Darn Hot,” from “Kiss Me Kate.” The modern piece I’m in is not quite finished, but it’s getting very, uh, let’s just say we’re jumping up and down a lot. A Lot. The fact that I’ve been working on my stamina and wind is a very good idea, is what I’m saying. The same could be said for the jazz, which is mostly finished and so much fun. If nothing else convinces you to show up to this show, the jazz piece would – we are gonna knock some socks off, and I’m not afraid to say it.

Rehearsals are going well, the studio is full up with the cries of “6, 7, 8!” and “let’s do that again, right?” and “Wait, wait, what was that again?” and “YES!” There are some dancers who are there 6 days out of 7 and I think they should get a little cot in the back for naps between rehearsals. (I am not one of them, but I do feel like I might need to punch a time card some weeks.) All the jumping up and down is getting my butt into literal shape (not kidding, I need to get some new pants), the muscles in my arms are standing out with all the lifting of dancers (and extra pushups and planks), and I think I have better flexibility this year, because I’ve been working on that. Go go gadget dancer! I’m being very careful of my older-than-the-rest-of-me knees, but all in all I’m feeling really good.

takePAUSE will have many dance types on display to enjoy, as per usual– tap, hip-hop, ballet, Broadway, jazz, and modern pieces from dancers of all ability levels. Marlo’s company badmarmar will have a piece in the show, as well. We aim to misbehave and entertain, and we aim to do so with a lot of style. So there you have it. Come to the show! We are awesome and fun and you’ll have a good time. Time for all the boogie!


April 28th, 2015

Originally posted at my website. Comment here or there, here a comment, there a comment ....

Writing can reveal your inner fears to yourself. Sometimes it’s your deepest fears and worries and heartaches, that you wring out and put into your story. That’s a good thing, and should be explored. I don’t always know I'm doing it, until it's there. It can be hard to continue, once I recognize it, hard to really face. But of course, that’s where the meat of the matter is, in dreams and hopes and fears. That’s why we write story, why we read it. That’s how story resonates with other people.

Sometimes, however, the fear that is revealed is the fear of Doing It Wrong - being wrong, or bad at it, or failing - that shows up, and you (I) don’t get any writing done at all. That’s not a good thing. It's a battle that I know many, many writers fight. If you don’t write, of course you fail (at writing). But if you do write, and fail anyway, then you know it’s because you (I) just didn’t do it very well. The writing wasn’t good enough. And that thought can be paralyzing.

The answer to that, so everyone says, and I believe them, is to write *more*, to become better. But the human psyche is a capricious jerk, and likes to tell us to give up. Persistence is key, persistence is how you succeed, but persistence is freaking nerve wracking and you have to continue on down echoing corridors of doubt that send you spiraling. How does one persist when one’s own brain is throwing monsters up in the air to fight? Monsters of air and shadow and whispers, monsters we make in our deep, scaredy hearts. Monsters that creep down those twisty corridors, waiting to spring, with their suggestions of claws, and claws of suggestions.

This is just the personal struggle, of course. This does not speak to the wider struggle everyone faces, to one degree or another: to be noticed, to be read, to be recommended or reviewed. And those struggles are different for everyone, for different reasons. There is no one way to become a published author. But we all struggle to get there. Sometimes we (I) struggle to write at all.

I have known people who don’t struggle when they write. They just … write. They have stories and they write those stories down and they deal with the problems therein later. They keep going until it’s done, and then it’s done, and they hand it over. I wish I could be so sanguine, so confident. I’m working to train myself closer to this model, but so far I’m only somewhat successful. I run into roadblocks that I set up myself. I run off onto paths I set up but didn’t think through. I pull back from the story to mull, and research, and mulling and research turn into more mulling and research, and then sullenly staring at pages and thinking I should just scrap it all, it all is terrible, none of it works and I should never have started writing to begin with, why didn’t I want to be something reasonable, like anything else at all: a wizard, or a hippopotamus. Equally attainable goals.

Which is where I find myself now with this sequel. The muddle in the middle, it’s been called. I know the shape of the overall arch of the story, I know much of what happens, but in writing the details and scenes and making it interesting other than in my own head, I find I’m … stuck. Irritated with myself, sitting in this muck of a mess I have made, staring at the squiggly lines of plot and thinking, this sucks. All of it sucks. I did not make a story, I made a mess. How am I going to make this mess into a story? It’s full of inconsistencies and random fragmentations and plot holes, and I’m pretty sure a wizard or a hippopotamus could fix it but I can’t. (The wizard would magic it better or turn it into a lovely figurine. The hippo would just eat it, or trample it, which might be a mercy.)

My plan, such as it is, is to make a list of all the scenes I have, what scenes I need, and where I’m missing plot, or where the plot holes are, to find out how to fix my mess. If I can’t do anything with that, I may just turn (whimpering) to my editor, to find out what he thinks. Because my progress for the last several weeks has consisted of me writing myself notes, asking myself questions, but not, so far, answering those questions. I’ve gone so far as to write the questions down, and then write “No but actually answer these questions” to myself, but as of yet I have not been able to do that. Pretty pathetic, when you think that all of these questions and answers really are just coming out of my own head. I feel like my own child, answering all my questions with “I dunno,” equally irritated with each version of myself, both for asking and not answering. Nope. Nope. Not coping. A hippo is the better choice, really. Hippos are mean. They would just destroy it all and revel in the destruction. I could really get into that. Wizards have to interact with other wizards and people are always asking them for things. Hippos just exist and no one messes with them. Best to be a hippo. I’ll get right on that.

As soon as I finish this damn story.

Title is from "Like Real People Do," by Hozier

April 13th, 2015

I have a guest blog up over at the Leasspell website today - it went up a couple of days ago, actually, but I was a bit busy over the weekend and didn't get the message. So go read! Enjoy! Pull up a chair and check out the website! As usual, I used song lyrics for the title, which may confuse Leasspell's viewers, but to know me is to be baffled by me, so I guess that's fair. Go have a look at "They Preach that I Should Save the World, They Pray That I Won't Do a Better Job of it"

Jennifer from Leasspell contacted me a few months ago and asked if I'd like to do a guest blog, and I said yes. It was going to happen earlier, but then the month of being sick plus all the things happened, and Jennifer was away on vacation, so it's happening now. Happy blog guesting! It's all about how I like teenagers, and I like to write for them. Enjoy!

(Of course, this title is from Indigo Girls "Welcome Me")

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